Excerpt from Universes - Things Get Serious.

Oh hai. *considers hugging*

Warning: this post is not great. lol

I had to do a bit of editing for this part, because this excerpt was taken from quite early in my story when i obviously wasn't as skilled as i am now. I realised i was using the word 'swung' sometimes 3 times in a paragraph, so this needed a bit of work.

Most of it is straight from the story though.

KK...

As i've mentioned before, Coltrane is the hidden traitor of the story, but also kinda my main character. He's working for the shadows, but at this point the reader is still unaware of his motivations.

The purpose of this piece is to show the reader exactly the sorts of things that Coltrane has to do, with a little shock value. It also gives Coltrane something to stew over in his mind later on and battle his own thoughts regarding what is right and what is wrong. Oh, and of course, to progress the shadows' plans as well.

Here, Coltrane was given a task by the Shadow King. He had to warp into the tower of the under-attack-by-shadows Thoughts World, slay the guards inside, steal the Thoughts Orb they were guarding and bring it back to the Shadow King. The Thoughts Orb is the source of power for the Thoughtians, as long as it is still in the Thoughts World... lol. Anyways, without their Orb, the Thoughtians will be weak and useless, and the shadows will have the Thoughts Power, which is the power of persuasion.

eg. "stab yourself" says Thoughtian.

*stabs self*

:)



Something you should know:
- Coltrane was given a golden capsule-like object by the king that can cut off a warp point's power temporarily.

I'm aware this isn't great and needs a lot of work. It does kinda get into a mess as it progresses, but that's why i'm posting it up here. :P

And don't forget this is from early on in my story and not a complete rewrite. :P

I might rewrite it if i get some good feedback. :)

...

Coltrane appeared from the warping point at the top of the tower. It was the tallest tower in the whole Thoughts World and housed the Orb in the very top. The Orb sat on a soft red cushion on a gold pedestal and had an aura of incredible power. There was a mist inside it that floated around randomly.

There were a dozen guards with long spears and swords and shiny armour and helmets. They stood on their designated spots, with blank faces. They all looked sad, like they knew that one day soon their jobs would be obsolete.

Coltrane was here. That day was today.

The orb room of the tower was round. There was a balcony overlooking the bland sky and poisoned ground of the once great world. There was one small room behind a door where the guards ate and slept in their shifts. There was an indent in the wall where the warp point was and there was a big steel door nearby that led to the steps of the tower. It could be locked from the inside with a steel bar…

Coltrane walked out of the warp point. The guards didn’t move, but he knew their eyes were on him.

People came up to the orb room many times a day, so for all the guards knew, Coltrane was just here to check out the situation.

He knew he would have to be quick.

He dropped his gold capsule next to the door and innocently flicked a switch on it with his foot. He could feel the air in the room thickening while the guards watched him. He wondered if one would jump on him with a sword just for doing that…

As he eyed one of the guards, he saw a pair of squinting eyes. He could tell they were suspicious but confused.

Sprinting to the door, Coltrane grabbed the steel bar beside it and slammed it down to jam the doors so that it couldn’t be pulled back out without a lot of force.

That was it. The guards raised their spears and unsheathed their swords.

Coltrane yanked out his own sword and jumped around to face the first guard upon him. Two swords clashed but a quick punch from Coltrane disarmed the guard and gave Coltrane the opportunity to whip his sword around and slice the neck of his foe. There was now a spray of silver blood on the wall, and Coltrane could see the horror that this caused in the rest of them and felt sickeningly pleased.

One of the guards grabbed the Orb and ran for the warp point, but it wouldn’t activate.

Side by side, two guards came at Coltrane, with their swords at the ready. The first guard's attack was easy to dodge, and then Coltrane stabbed at the leg of his attacker, jumped up and finished him with a slice to the gut. The other guard went for Coltrane’s torso and Coltrane slid to the side, but he got a big cut along his shoulder and had his first taste of pain. A swift round swipe of Coltrane's sword left another enemy on the floor.

A tough battle ensued with other guards and Coltrane received various wounds.

Coltrane dispatched another three foes but suddenly felt a sharp pain in his leg.

A guard with a spear had stabbed him, and at the same time another Thoughtian met Coltrane’s sword with his own blade. Coltrane tried to fend him off but suffered a deep gash along his right arm. Coltrane’s sword fell to the ground, but he wasn’t going to let this stop him.

He put both his hands on the spear and wrenched it from the guard with all his energy. He bashed the other guard over the head with the blunt end. He then spun around and thrust it at the spear guard’s chest.

With his spear spinning, he jumped around once again and finished off the other guard with a blow to his waist.Stooping to pick up his sword in his left hand, Coltrane set upon the other four guards. One of them had a golden helmet, and Coltrane figured he was the captain. He decided to save him for last.

A quick thrust of the spear killed one and Coltrane let the guard fall with the spear still lodged in his gut.

One of the other two came for him with his sword raised. Coltrane ducked the guard's lunge and cut him off at the legs.

The other guard had a spear, which he thrust at Coltrane. Coltrane jumped to the side and brought his sword down on the head of the spear, which snapped off. He then finished the guard off with a blow to the neck and kicked him out of the way.

Coltrane looked at the captain. From the corner he could hear the whimpers of the guard with the orb, as he desperately tried to make the warp point work.

He eyed the captain, and the captain glared back with sullen eyes.

He could see the anger in the captain’s eyes, as well as the growing fear.

He could feel his blood trickling down his arm. And he felt the pain in his leg. The adrenaline was wearing off, and he was starting to realise what he had just done.

He felt sick.

The captain spoke, “What foulness is this, that a Powerian would slay his own allies?”

“Your kind are not my allies.”

“Dare I ask who is?”

“The shadows are my allies.”

“You traitor…”

“I do what I have to do to survive.”

“You pathetic excuse for a soldier! I hope your soul spends an eternity inside one of those shadows!”

The captain jumped forward and whipped his sword towards Coltrane’s stomach, but Coltrane dodged to the side. The captain swung again hastily, this time nicking Coltrane on the hip. The next time the captain came at him, Coltrane blocked with his sword, and their blades slid down until they met at the hilt. The captain pushed forward and shoved Coltrane backwards and he stumbled, before falling backwards over a body.

The captain dashed forward, wasting no time. He stood over Coltrane, but Coltrane still had his sword, which he stabbed into the captain's leg. The captain shouted in pain, and Coltrane rolled away and got back to his feet.

"Even if you kill me," Coltrane panted, "your people will not survive the onslaught of the shadows. Yes, it’s coming. It could be any day now, and all the worlds will fall. You will lose, even if you kill me today.”

Coltrane went forward again with his sword held firmly in his hand. He went for the captain’s face but missed. Coltrane then blocked another swing from his enemy.

He whipped his sword forward again, this time catching the guard on his left wrist, but the captain swung his own sword around and brought it fiercely down on Coltrane’s, which flew from his hand across the room, clanking against the hard walls. The captain butted his helmet against Coltrane and forced him to the floor.

Coltrane kicked the captain hard in his shin. The Thoughtian's feet were shod in plate boots and they slid backwards and he fell forward.

Coltrane swiftly grabbed the sword of one of his fallen enemies and jumped to the side of the captain, who was struggling to get back to his feet. The captain held his sword up to block the expected attack from Coltrane.

Coltrane whipped his sword around and bashed the sword from the captains weakened hand.

He lifted his sword again and brought it down with all his energy, piercing the captain’s chest armour.

The body jerked forward, then came to a rest with the sword still jammed.

Finally, Coltrane picked his own sword back up, and went over to the guard who had taken the Orb.

The guard cowered in fear.

Coltrane stabbed him through the chest, and watched the Orb roll from his quivering hands down into a silver pool of blood.

It was finished.
Coltrane knelt down, exhausted and drained. He was terrified that he would die and his people would find out what he had done. But everybody in the room was dead. He was safe.

He looked around at the slaughter in the room. The walls were sprayed with silvery blood and the bodies lay silent and still.

Coltrane himself was drenched in blood - his enemies' and his own. He had deep wounds on his leg, shoulder and wrist, and they were starting to affect him now.

His pulse was pounding through his head. His whole body shook with every heartbeat.

He didn’t want to have to do this.

He stood back up, and went over to pick up the orb. It was silvery like the Thoughtians’ blood, and the movement of the shiny mist floating through it seemed to have sped up.

Once he was back at the Death World, he could place the Orb next to the Death Orb, Sound Orb, Beasts Orb and Shadow Orb.

The Shadows would be even stronger.

Rewrite - Let's Fight.

Oh hai. *shares warm blanket with*

I'll keep the intro short - I read all of your feedback on my last post, and decided to rewrite the piece i put up. I hope that at the least this is an improvement on what i had before, cos it would show that i can adapt and change for the better. :)

Battles are fricken hard to get right, so if i can write decent battles, then the rest of the story should be easy and awesome, right? lol :P

I also still don't know if i got the Zamny balance right but that's one hell of a fine line.

You may want to consider going back and reading the previous version before you judge this one.

And i understand that's it's still not perfect, but i wrote it in the space of a few hours so just remember that. :P

...

"I won’t be running this time," Drephor said. "This time, I am ready."

"Let’s hope so…"

For a moment they both eyed each other and gripped their swords tightly.

For Drephor, losing was not a possibility. The spilling of Hounder's blood would mean a huge step forward in this bloody war. It would show these foul beings that they could not encroach upon the Healthians' white fields and expect a weak resistance, and it would show them that the Healthian leader was a force to be feared instead of underestimated.

If Drephor lost, the shadows would be that much closer to claiming this land for their own, and the entire Healthian army would be powerless to help and heal their allies, and that could mean multi-genocide.

Their swords would meet, as would Drephor's courage meet Hounder's bloodlust, and their hatred for each other would collide.

With the weight of more than one world on his shoulders, as beads of sweat crept down his cheek, and his top lip twitched, Drephor couldn't take it anymore. His left foot left the dirt and took a step forward, and then it all started. Yells and roars rose from the battlefield as the soldiers and shadows reengaged, and neither side held anything back. And the one duel that mattered the most began.

Drephor fought to the beat of his heart against Hounder's pure strength. Again and again their steel clashed, but not once did a hand give way. Not once did either think they had this won. Every second counted in this fast and furious contest.

If not for a dirty attack from Hounder, the sword-fury would have continued, but a punch to the gut pushed Drephor back, and again their eyes met.

"You still haven’t seen what I’m capable of," Hounder growled. "The tales do me no justice."

"Well I want to find out!"

This time Drephor ran fast towards his foe. A rough swipe from Hounder was easy to dodge, and a quick return by the skilful Drephor left Hounder getting sliced in a gap in his armour, and Drephor had the first blood on his blade.

"Grrr... Impressive," Hounder half-snapped with grudging respect, but while showing no pain. He sheathed his sword and planted his feet firmly on the ground, as his outstretched left hand started to glow fiery red and grow flames, and the right shined deep blue.

As fiery pulsing attacks flew at him from various angles, Drephor had to duck and dodge continually with little time to recover. Repeatedly he would drop to the ground, only to have to scramble in the dust to get up again.

As Drephor finally managed to get to his feet, Hounder suddenly lashed at him with a water whip from his right hand. Drephor whacked it with his sword and the whip curled around the blade. His anger was building up and he yanked the sword back hard, and his enemy was tugged forward, but recovered as the whip disappeared and started charging up another attack.

With time to scan his surroundings, Drephor came across a small metal shield splashed with blood and dirt. As his hands snapped it up he knew this was his chance to change the tide of their duel.

The next blazing attacks were deflected, and as the Healthian General rushed forward Hounder had little time to react.

Drephor jumped and lifted up his shield. Hounder reached for his sword, but Drephor smashed down upon his helmeted face before he could find it. Stunned by an unbearable ringing in his ears, Hounder stumbled back.

Hounder quickly realized this would ultimately be a battle of steel and, while holding his head with one hand, with the other he yanked out his heavy blade for the last time.

Going forth again armed with shield and sword, Drephor was ready to end this.

Their swords met again, and clanked against each other repeatedly. Shouts and groans came from both of them as their bodies were tired and sore, but the bash of steel on steel was even louder

Suddenly becoming mobile, Hounder stepped back and raised his sword. A huge whoosh flew past Drephor and almost sliced his neck. Hounder spun around and swiped at him again and again. Drephor dodged and ducked but an attempt at blocking the huge force with his shield resulted in him being knocked to the ground.

With the formidable figure of his foe approaching him quickly, Drephor desperately grabbed hold of a rock and he hurled it at Hounder's head.

It met its target and Hounder was blinded momentarily as his helmet shifted over his eyes.

But by the time Drephor had gotten back to his feet, Hounder was upon him again, and the huge heavy sword came down upon Drephor with all of Hounder's might.

Drephor lunged his shield up but it was no match at all. Pain shot through his arms and his legs buckled, and his head whacked the dirt. His shield fell beside him with a huge dent in the middle, and Hounder laughed.

That surely would have been the end, if a young boy with hair of fire had not run up to kick Hounder in the shin.

"Leave him alone!"

Hounder easily batted him away with his arm and Zamny tumbled to the ground.

"Hey! Don't touch me!" he screamed.

A tiny fireball flew from his hands and splashed against Hounder's chestplate.

"Little pest!" Hounder growled. "Leave me to my prey..."

"He's no prey! He's my big bro!"

The two generals froze at those words. As Drephor looked over to see the small boy, he was filled with horror as he recognized his face. And Hounder could not believe his luck.

"Zamny?" Drephor gasped. "Get out of here!"

"No bro! I will save you!"

He charged up a fiery attack in his little hands.

"This is too good," Hounder said calmly, almost to himself.

Sheathing his sword and preparing to walk forward, Hounder charged up a watery ball for the purpose of snuffing this kid's fire.

"Leave him alone!" Drephor screamed desperately, grabbing at Hounder's leg, but his hands were kicked away. "Zamny! You idiot! Run!!!"

A watery attack came at Zamny, but the speedy boy easily jumped to the side, and the fire between his hands continued to grow.

"I'll prove myself to you bro! I'll prove I can fi-"

He rolled out of the way of another attack from Hounder. Hounder snarled, and Zamny growled back trying to look fierce, but of course failed. Drephor almost cried. His brother's naivety would get him killed.

An angry Hounder quickly created more attacks, and launched them at Zamny left and right, up and down, but nothing connected. He was just too small and agile.

Hounder figured he had toyed with him long enough, and ripped out his huge sword, striding forward towards Zamny ready to cut him in half.

"Bring it on big guy!" Zamny yelled.

His little heart raced. This was it. He knew his own power. He knew he was special. He knew he had incredible power. And he was sick of never being given a chance. He screamed loudly and his hands separated. Fire crept down his neck from his hair, and up his arms from his hands. The fire took to his body like it was fuel and Hounder almost froze in his tracks.

Now Zamny was ready. His fire was on the outside, instead of in his heart. Nothing would stop him now. He was gonna lay it on this guy who had threatened his family and friends and home.

He raised his hands at Hounder, and a thick stream of fire flew out and smacked Hounder in the head, engulfing his helmet until he couldn't breathe, and he fell to his knees.

Ripping off the helmet and dousing the flames, Hounder gasped for air.

Zamny's hands glowed. Before Hounder had time to do anything, a thick wave of fire shot along the ground and knocked Hounder into the air, and he fell to the ground hard with a loud clank.

Excerpt from Universes - Let's Fight!

Oh hai.

Welcome back. :) *lights fireplace, warms room for you*

Battles are one of the hardest things to write in a story like mine. There is a fight or battle in almost every chapter of my story and often the focus of a chapter is around a battle.

It's times like that where i wish i were making a movie and not writing a book. I can't use lighting and camera angles and music and sounds and just plain bashing and sword-swiping. I only have words, and have to try very hard to not be repetitive.

Fights can get very complicated. You have a million things to get across to the reader - the light and time of day, the ground, the surroundings, the soldiers, formations, weapons, armour, sounds, tactics, leaders, and most importantly, the characters you follow. You don't want to confuse the reader, and especially don't want to bore them by saying 'this happens, then that happens, then he does this, and the other dude does this back'.

I'm gonna post a part of a battle today, though it's more of a duel. And i'm not asking for ass-kissing in this post. I'm looking for advice. I want to know what works and what doesn't, and in the latter case, what i could do to improve. Please? :)

Quick lesson: in case you hadn't figured it out by now, the weapons are swords etc. And the soldiers also fight with their 'powers'. Heatians have firepowers, Speedians are super-quick etc.

Also, i realize this excerpt may be a bit hard to understand because there is just so much info you would need to know for it to make sense, but view it as a piece of writing rather than a story. :)

If you want me to explain something, just ask me in the comments.

KK...

There is a battle in the Health World for the outpost of Ranphar which the shadows have just claimed. It has a warp point within so it is important for quick army movement.

Drephor the General (I think 'General' has a capital 'G') has led an army towards Ranphar in the hope of reclaiming it. He wasn't counting of the shadow General Hounder being there though, who in a short time has become one of the most feared shadows around, and is leading the assault on the Health World.

They have met once before, but Drephor fled, so Hounder has made it his own mission to hunt his enemy equal down and kill him.

I start with Hounder leaving Ranphar and heading towards the battle, and then i cut to him facing Drephor.

There is also an appearance by Drephor's (very) young, hyperactive, but beyond strong, little step-brother.



...


Hounder didn’t need any guards by his side. He marched assertively towards the battle on his own, head-to-toe in spiny gold armour. His sword-hand was twitching at the thought of finally having a battle after so long and his heart was pumping…

He’d also heard that Drephor was here…

He was looking forward to a mighty duel after Drephor had run away at the Prephleen Bridge last time… Perhaps he might finally meet someone worthy of dying by his sword…

* * * (I jumped forward a bit) * * *

“I won’t be running this time," Drephor said. "This time, I am ready.”

“Let’s hope so…”

For a moment they both eyed each other and gripped their swords. Then Drephor broke and walked forward towards his enemy.

His allies did the same. They reengaged the shadows and the shadows fought back, but they all left Drephor and Hounder alone.

Hounder raised his sword and took a big swipe at Drephor.

Their two swords clashed above their heads. They pushed against each other hard but neither of them budged. Hounder tried to punch Drephor in the stomach with his heavy hand but Drephor jumped back and their swords parted.

“You still haven’t seen what I’m capable of, Drephor. The tales do me no justice.”

“Well I want to find out.”

Drephor ran forward again and jumped up, turning and swinging his sword around, slicing Hounder’s shoulder in a gap in his armour. Hounder swiped his sword around but Drephor dodged and moved back.

“… Impressive,” Hounder growled.

Hounder sheathed his sword and planted his feet firmly on the ground.

He held his hands outwards. His left hand started to glow red. The right glowed blue.

A fireball shot from Hounder’s left palm towards Drephor’s head. He ducked, but then a waterball came at him from further down. He rolled to the side as it passed him by and smashed into the ground beside him.

Drephor jumped up again. Hounder lashed at him with a water whip from his right hand. Drephor whacked it with his sword and the whip curled around the blade. He pulled back and Hounder was tugged forward.

The whip disappeared and Hounder started charging up in his left hand again.

Drephor quickly scanned the ground and found a small metal shield. He lifted it up and faced it at his enemy.

Hounder shot the ground with a blast of fire. Drephor jumped over as much as he could but flames clawed at his feet. Hounder charged up another ball as Drephor ran forward. He launched it, as Drephor was metres from him.

Drephor deflected the fireball, and then lifted up his shield. Hounder reached for his sword, but Drephor smashed him in his helmeted face and he was knocked back. He held his head as the loud ringing in his ears subsided, and then his hand reached for his sword again and yanked it out.

Hounder walked forward and took another big swipe at Drephor. Drephor dodged and knocked the sword to the side with his shield. Hounder brought his sword around again and tried to take out Drephor’s legs, but Drephor jumped back and the end of the sword just sliced the skin on his shins.

Hounder shot the ground around Drephor with a gush of water, and he fell onto his side, and Hounder walked forward and charged up a fireball.

Drephor quickly tried to get up again and he got to his hands and knees… Then his hand nudged a big rock and he wrapped his fingers around it.

When Hounder got closer he looked up and hurled the rock at his head. Hounder tried to bat it away but with his armour he was a little too slow and the rock clonked him in the side of the head. He stumbled back and Drephor jumped up and ran forward again. Hounder composed himself fast and raised his sword.

Drephor tried to hit Hounder with his shield again, but this time Hounder slammed it with his heavy blade, and he fell to the ground.

Hounder lifted up his sword and brought it down towards his enemy swiftly. Drephor lifted his shield up one more time, and the steel crashed against it.

The shield dropped to the ground beside him with a large dent in the middle, and Drephor lay there with his arms in pain.

“Goodbye, son of the Health World.”

Hounder went to lift his sword one more time and grinned…

Just then, a boy ran in front of him and kicked Hounder in the shin.

“Leave him alone!”

Hounder easily batted him away with his arm and Zamny fell to the ground.

“Hey! Nobody touches me!”

Zamny held up his hands and giggled.

“And nobody touches my big bro!”

A thick stream of fire flew from his hands and smacked Hounder in the head. Fire engulfed his helmet and he fell to his knees.

Hounder ripped off his helmet and doused the flames with water. Then he sat there blankly for a moment, breathing heavily. He looked up, and Zamny was standing there with his hands on fire, looking at him.

Drephor groaned and looked over at his little brother.

“…What do you think you are doing?”

“I’m saving your ass!” yelled his tinny voice.

Hounder got up again and held out his right hand.

“Your brother? This is too good…”

Hounder shot a waterball at Zamny, but he easily jumped to the side and it passed him by.

“Dodgeball! I love this game!”

“Imbecile!”

Hounder shot another ball at him. Zamny jumped over it and giggled…

“Too slow!”

“Gaaah!”

Hounder shot more waterballs at him but Zamny ducked and dodged each one.

“Your turn!”

Zamny’s hands glowed briefly, and then a huge wave of fire shot towards his enemy. Hounder was thrown into the air and he landed against the hard ground with a loud clank.

“I win!”

Excerpt from Universes - Coltrane's Final Task.

Oh hai.

First of all, thanks so much for the awesome response i got for my last post. I'm putting this stuff up to get feedback, so it was great to get so much. Thanks a lot. It really does mean a lot to me. :)

I will respond to all the helpful/supportive comments on this blog. Leave me something and i'll respond. :)

KK today's post...

Coltrane is a Powerian soldier and on the good guys' side. Due to some past events however, he decided to secretly work for the enemy (the shadows) in exchange for his survival if they take over.

This excerpt is of the final and surprisingly simple task the Shadow King has given to him. He must convert one of the entry (warp) points in his home world for the shadows to use, and gain access to his home world.

He leaves the huge lone tower where everyone in the Power World resides, and heads out along the cloudy land under the eternal night sky.

The excerpt itself is nothing special - no action or dialogue. This is just something different i thought i would show. It's also rather boring. lol



...

Coltrane fetched a grey coat, hoping that it would help him blend in with the cloudy land if anyone looked out while he was still close by. Although, the permanent night sky would give him a good cover once he had travelled a fair distance…

First, he had to get outside… The only door was at the base of the Tower. He stepped into a warp point out on the main hall, and warped down to the ground floor.

There was a massive hall, divided by a series of different levels and staircases. It was poorly lit and cold and gloomy. And it was also completely silent…

Coltrane looked around and could see no one. He pulled his hood over his head and started walking until he found the two large entry doors made of iron and wood. There were two thick levers on either side that would open and close their respective doors with enough strength.

He headed over to the left lever, wrapped his hands around it and pushed down… but the door wouldn’t budge.

He got underneath and tried to pull down, but all that did was lift his body up… so he pressed himself against the wall and lifted his foot up onto it. Then he stamped down as hard as he could again and again…

The lever budged a little, but it immediately fell back into place…

He lifted up his other foot, and reaching up to hold onto an iron bar, he pulled himself up so he was standing on it…

Then he jumped up and slammed his feet back down onto the lever. It clanked down and he slipped off onto the floor. Turning around, he could see the door was open enough for him to just squeeze through…

* * *

There was a cold breeze outside, and he wrapped his coat around tighter. Then, crossing his arms and bracing for the cold, he headed out onto the vast cloudy land before him…

He had never been outside of the Tower before… not in his entire life. But now he was. He was walking alone, underneath the epic night sky, and, save from the low swoosh of the wind, there was utter silence…

Then he turned around and looked up… and he was speechless…

He saw the Tower… Most people of his generation had only seen pictures and paintings… but nothing could have prepared him for this. He fell to his knees and his mouth dropped open.

It was colossal in size. It seemed to have a black, shiny appearance, but he couldn’t tell whether that was from the actual material or just a reflection of the world around them…

And the peak was so high up it hurt his neck to see it…

He could see dull lights through windows, and imagined what was going on inside them… Because he only knew what existed on the floors below the sixth, as well as a few above… but there were many more floors than he could ever have conceived…

After a silent moment of contemplation, he got up and turned around, then headed on along his journey…

* * *

When he got to the horizon line from the Tower, Coltrane came across a dull warp point amongst the mist.

It was a good position – not too close and not too far from the Tower.

He bent down, did his thing, and the warp point started to glow purple…

Then Coltrane, knowing that that was his final task, sat down and sighed…

“It’s done…”

That was finally his last task… He didn’t have to do any more for the shadows… Now, everything he had worked for was within his reach…

He lied down on his back and put his hands under his head, and looked up at the night sky dotted with twinkling stars…

Of course, he still felt terrible for all the things he had done… Yes, they would stay with him for the rest of his life, but they had to be done, and it was too late to turn back now…

He felt glad that it was over… but sad at the same time. Because now they would all die…

He hoped that Marc would decide to join him, but he wasn’t kidding himself. Marc was a soldier, loyal to his people, and Coltrane was prepared for whatever answer he would receive.



Rather than use the warp point to warp back, Coltrane decided to take the melancholy walk instead. It would, after all, be the last time he would see his home world...

Excerpt from Universes - Part of Marc and Syrene's conversation.

Oh hai.

I'd thought i'd start off with just a few moments from Universes that i like. Universes is the main story i'm working on at the moment and is over 183,000 words long.

I know the monologue here is long, but, well, it's the longest in my whole story, so it's uncommon.



This excerpt is part of a conversation between 2 of my main characters, Marc and Syrene. They're both captains of teams that fight against the evil shadows. Here, Syrene is talking to Marc about her history for the first time, the same day after the two first confessed their love for each other.

Syrene is talking about her last lover Harzy whom she had been with for 4 years, back while she was still a civilian. He was killed by shadows when she followed him while he was on patrol, to give him a gift of a silver bracelet to celebrate their 4-year anniversary of meeting each other.

I picked up halfway through their conversation.



...

"The last thing he did, as he fell to the ground, was tell me to flee… Marc, I still blame myself for his death…"

"No…"

"Yes, Marc… You can say what you will. You can try to comfort me but your words will fall hollow. I know I am responsible. I was a fool to follow him. And I was helpless to save him…"

"I don’t know what to say Syrene…"

"You don’t have to say anything Marc."

He leant in and hugged her.

"It shocked me into a reality I had not known. It introduced me to a life of death, suffering and sorrow that I have lived ever since… Marc, it was what made me decide to become a fighter. I bid farewell to our families, both his and mine, and travelled to the Power World, vowing never to return home until I could look after myself. I enrolled in school and joined the Airian and fighting classes. Later on, I also took strategic and defence classes. I spent years at school, driven by my memories of pain and grief to do my best… I eventually graduated school and joined a team of seven Airians – two males and five females, making a team of eight.

"We had a fantastic leader and I learnt a lot from him firsthand. We were utterly devoted to him and followed him wherever he would lead us. We all adored him, and it came as another tragic shock when he was slain during a minor skirmish in the Sound World… I was devastated, that not even a year after opening myself up to my emotions again and becoming what I saw as human again, the person I cared for most in the world was, again, taken from me… But I was surprised. My team-mates asked that I lead them from then on. They asked me to replace him… I don’t know what they saw in me… I was older, less experienced and more unstable than any of them, but they wanted me… and I said yes… Ever since then, I have led my team, seeking revenge on the shadows for what they’ve done to me and how they’ve made me suffer. But I think no amount of death and vengeance could ever fill the void left inside me caused by the loss of the love of my life…"

Marc was at a loss for words… He sat there silently, holding her hand and he smiled…

He didn’t know why.

Perhaps it was desperate attempt at letting her know he just understood her pain.

"Marc… I want you to know, that I believe you are my second soulmate… Before I met you, although my life was eventful, it felt empty. I was depressed and lonely. My craving to settle the score with my enemies drove me to get out of bed each day, but no matter how many lives I took, I felt no better… The day I saw you, the day we met and talked… the day we fought side-by-side, I discovered a new passion deep inside me… It was the desire for love again…"

Marc tried to speak but his lips moved and no sound came out.

"Marc, I’ve said I loved you before, but maybe now you can truly understand just how much I really mean it."

"I… I do, Syrene… I had no idea I meant that much to you… I’m… honoured to be your soulmate."

"As am I."

Syrene pulled her sleeve up again and slowly took off one of her silver bracelets…

"I was going to give him this one… I want you to have it…"

"Syrene… I couldn’t…"

"No one alive is worthy of wearing this more than you. I want you to have it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely."

Syrene lifted Marc’s hand up and fastened the bracelet around his wrist…

"Thank you… I’ll think of our love every time I look at it."

"I hope you will… Marc. I will love Harzy forever… You understand that, don’t you?"

"I do."

"I will also love you forever… in a different, but… just as important way."

"I love you too, Syrene."

"Thank you Marc… You remind me of him, in so many ways…"

A New Beginning.

Oh hai.

Welcome to my new blog! *hands you a glass of champagne*

Why did i start another blog? Well, there are 2 main things that my life revolves around - sexuality and writing. Mirrorboy's Blog's focus is on me and my sexuality. While sometimes it's nice to talk about my writing on that blog, i know that the sorts of posts i want to make about writing don't belong on there.

Mirrorboy's Blog is always changing because it's about my life and what happens to me more than anything else. Here, though, i will be able to post about writing and posts will fit and flow with each other, and i won't have to worry about being interrupted by 'life'. lol

This is MOSTLY FOR ME. I really really really want to talk about my writing, even if nobody reads the blog. It really will be fun for me to talk about the part of me that very few people know about, even in real life.

Also, other than the fact that the 2 blogs are written by the same person, they won't have much to do with each other so you don't have to worry about reading one to keep up with the other.

Anyways, i'll set down an outline for what i want to write about on here.

I'll talk about things like my influences and my style, and why i write, and other crap like that. Also, i'll talk about some of the short stories i've written, and how something said to me once made me decide to even write at all.

For most of the time though, it will be about my current story Universes. I'll talk about the worlds, plots, relationships and characters.

And maybe i'll even post a few excerpts or short stories. :)

Okay... That's enough for a first post. :P

I hope those of you who are interested will read along and any writing advice would be appreciated, of course. Also, if you want to be linked on this blog send me an email.

Welcome.

love.