Oh hai. *shares warm blanket with*
I'll keep the intro short - I read all of your feedback on my last post, and decided to rewrite the piece i put up. I hope that at the least this is an improvement on what i had before, cos it would show that i can adapt and change for the better. :)
Battles are fricken hard to get right, so if i can write decent battles, then the rest of the story should be easy and awesome, right? lol :P
I also still don't know if i got the Zamny balance right but that's one hell of a fine line.
You may want to consider going back and reading the previous version before you judge this one.
And i understand that's it's still not perfect, but i wrote it in the space of a few hours so just remember that. :P
...
"I won’t be running this time," Drephor said. "This time, I am ready."
"Let’s hope so…"
For a moment they both eyed each other and gripped their swords tightly.
For Drephor, losing was not a possibility. The spilling of Hounder's blood would mean a huge step forward in this bloody war. It would show these foul beings that they could not encroach upon the Healthians' white fields and expect a weak resistance, and it would show them that the Healthian leader was a force to be feared instead of underestimated.
If Drephor lost, the shadows would be that much closer to claiming this land for their own, and the entire Healthian army would be powerless to help and heal their allies, and that could mean multi-genocide.
Their swords would meet, as would Drephor's courage meet Hounder's bloodlust, and their hatred for each other would collide.
With the weight of more than one world on his shoulders, as beads of sweat crept down his cheek, and his top lip twitched, Drephor couldn't take it anymore. His left foot left the dirt and took a step forward, and then it all started. Yells and roars rose from the battlefield as the soldiers and shadows reengaged, and neither side held anything back. And the one duel that mattered the most began.
Drephor fought to the beat of his heart against Hounder's pure strength. Again and again their steel clashed, but not once did a hand give way. Not once did either think they had this won. Every second counted in this fast and furious contest.
If not for a dirty attack from Hounder, the sword-fury would have continued, but a punch to the gut pushed Drephor back, and again their eyes met.
"You still haven’t seen what I’m capable of," Hounder growled. "The tales do me no justice."
"Well I want to find out!"
This time Drephor ran fast towards his foe. A rough swipe from Hounder was easy to dodge, and a quick return by the skilful Drephor left Hounder getting sliced in a gap in his armour, and Drephor had the first blood on his blade.
"Grrr... Impressive," Hounder half-snapped with grudging respect, but while showing no pain. He sheathed his sword and planted his feet firmly on the ground, as his outstretched left hand started to glow fiery red and grow flames, and the right shined deep blue.
As fiery pulsing attacks flew at him from various angles, Drephor had to duck and dodge continually with little time to recover. Repeatedly he would drop to the ground, only to have to scramble in the dust to get up again.
As Drephor finally managed to get to his feet, Hounder suddenly lashed at him with a water whip from his right hand. Drephor whacked it with his sword and the whip curled around the blade. His anger was building up and he yanked the sword back hard, and his enemy was tugged forward, but recovered as the whip disappeared and started charging up another attack.
With time to scan his surroundings, Drephor came across a small metal shield splashed with blood and dirt. As his hands snapped it up he knew this was his chance to change the tide of their duel.
The next blazing attacks were deflected, and as the Healthian General rushed forward Hounder had little time to react.
Drephor jumped and lifted up his shield. Hounder reached for his sword, but Drephor smashed down upon his helmeted face before he could find it. Stunned by an unbearable ringing in his ears, Hounder stumbled back.
Hounder quickly realized this would ultimately be a battle of steel and, while holding his head with one hand, with the other he yanked out his heavy blade for the last time.
Going forth again armed with shield and sword, Drephor was ready to end this.
Their swords met again, and clanked against each other repeatedly. Shouts and groans came from both of them as their bodies were tired and sore, but the bash of steel on steel was even louder
Suddenly becoming mobile, Hounder stepped back and raised his sword. A huge whoosh flew past Drephor and almost sliced his neck. Hounder spun around and swiped at him again and again. Drephor dodged and ducked but an attempt at blocking the huge force with his shield resulted in him being knocked to the ground.
With the formidable figure of his foe approaching him quickly, Drephor desperately grabbed hold of a rock and he hurled it at Hounder's head.
It met its target and Hounder was blinded momentarily as his helmet shifted over his eyes.
But by the time Drephor had gotten back to his feet, Hounder was upon him again, and the huge heavy sword came down upon Drephor with all of Hounder's might.
Drephor lunged his shield up but it was no match at all. Pain shot through his arms and his legs buckled, and his head whacked the dirt. His shield fell beside him with a huge dent in the middle, and Hounder laughed.
That surely would have been the end, if a young boy with hair of fire had not run up to kick Hounder in the shin.
"Leave him alone!"
Hounder easily batted him away with his arm and Zamny tumbled to the ground.
"Hey! Don't touch me!" he screamed.
A tiny fireball flew from his hands and splashed against Hounder's chestplate.
"Little pest!" Hounder growled. "Leave me to my prey..."
"He's no prey! He's my big bro!"
The two generals froze at those words. As Drephor looked over to see the small boy, he was filled with horror as he recognized his face. And Hounder could not believe his luck.
"Zamny?" Drephor gasped. "Get out of here!"
"No bro! I will save you!"
He charged up a fiery attack in his little hands.
"This is too good," Hounder said calmly, almost to himself.
Sheathing his sword and preparing to walk forward, Hounder charged up a watery ball for the purpose of snuffing this kid's fire.
"Leave him alone!" Drephor screamed desperately, grabbing at Hounder's leg, but his hands were kicked away. "Zamny! You idiot! Run!!!"
A watery attack came at Zamny, but the speedy boy easily jumped to the side, and the fire between his hands continued to grow.
"I'll prove myself to you bro! I'll prove I can fi-"
He rolled out of the way of another attack from Hounder. Hounder snarled, and Zamny growled back trying to look fierce, but of course failed. Drephor almost cried. His brother's naivety would get him killed.
An angry Hounder quickly created more attacks, and launched them at Zamny left and right, up and down, but nothing connected. He was just too small and agile.
Hounder figured he had toyed with him long enough, and ripped out his huge sword, striding forward towards Zamny ready to cut him in half.
"Bring it on big guy!" Zamny yelled.
His little heart raced. This was it. He knew his own power. He knew he was special. He knew he had incredible power. And he was sick of never being given a chance. He screamed loudly and his hands separated. Fire crept down his neck from his hair, and up his arms from his hands. The fire took to his body like it was fuel and Hounder almost froze in his tracks.
Now Zamny was ready. His fire was on the outside, instead of in his heart. Nothing would stop him now. He was gonna lay it on this guy who had threatened his family and friends and home.
He raised his hands at Hounder, and a thick stream of fire flew out and smacked Hounder in the head, engulfing his helmet until he couldn't breathe, and he fell to his knees.
Ripping off the helmet and dousing the flames, Hounder gasped for air.
Zamny's hands glowed. Before Hounder had time to do anything, a thick wave of fire shot along the ground and knocked Hounder into the air, and he fell to the ground hard with a loud clank.
